Sex and The City Season 2 Episode 13: Games People Play
source: HBO youtube.com
Remember when Carrie broke up with Big for the second time? She talked and complained about all her issues to the girls every chance she got. That’s me. After a breakup, I can’t stop talking about every detail, fault, complaint and issue, and it leads to lots of rambling and possibly lots of bored-out-of-their-mind friends. I honestly wish I could take back every last syllable, which is pretty easy to say now that I’m over it. Now that I can look back without any pain or feelings of devastation, it all looks so pointless.
But it isn’t pointless to vent the way we do because it’s how we cope with breakups. All that talking is part of the grieving process. A breakup is the same as losing a loved one and like any other loss, you need to heal. The issue is that those around you may not want to hear for the millionth time how he lost the best thing that ever happened to him. In Carrie’s case, the girls recommended she get professional help and that’s how she started seeing famed celebrity psychologist, Dr. G.
Carrie set up a few appointments with Dr. G but she eventually dumped her. And a few seasons later, after plenty of breakups and enough man trouble (and one girl problem, in Samantha’s case), Carrie was still venting to her friends.
Aside from the fact that Dr. G was cold and her blinking was downright condescending, she was never going to be able to replace Carrie’s closest friends. Friends that can truly appreciate you and understand where you’re coming from are a comfort zone. I can’t imagine Carrie opening up to a psychologist the way she does with Samantha. That feeling that you can say anything and everything is a comfort that is much needed in the grieving process.
So, what do you do when you need to scream out what a scumbag your ex is every 5 minutes, but don’t want your friends to think that you’ve become a drag? Outlets, my loves. The key is to use as many outlets as possible while you’re healing your wounds. This doesn’t eliminate the talk sessions with friends, but hopefully, it will ease their ears a little from some of your never-ending one woman show.
Writing an essay and submitting it to a publication (They love to hear about relationships)
Resource: how to write a personal essay that will get published (Bustle)
20 great places to publish essays (Megan Ward)
Hello Giggles Submissions
Thought Catalog Submissions
Joining a facebook group
Karaoke (OMG singing “I will survive” can you even imagine?)
Exercise – think running. Those endorphins will kick those bad feelings to the ground, I tell you.
Yoga – breathing techniques will help relax you.
Binge watching TV or movies that do not trigger you. No mushy relationship stuff unless that makes you feel better.
The list can go on. Get creative and let it all out.
And of course, there’s nothing wrong with seeing a psychologist.Sometimes you’re going to need the guidance of someone outside your circle. Dr. G was a little too insensitive, but there are a lot of supportive therapists out there.
Here’s a link to find a psychologist in your area: psychology today
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